I’ve been working very, very hard on my Might Could Make a Book book this week and have been doing basically nothing else from the time I drop Butterbean off at school to the time I pick her up. I fix my coffee, get Oni settled in on the bed for his nap, and then I sit at my desk and work until the very last minute when I stuff my face with whatever food I can grab, and then rush out the door to school pickup.
Doing this for a full week has had some consequences. The living room is piled with toys, my hair hasn’t been washed in… I don’t know how long, I either don’t take a shower or take the fastest shower known to man before I rush out the door, the dirty dishes are piling up, the sheets need to be washed, I’m still wearing my pajamas, Oni and I both are eating lunch later and later, I can’t seem to get up out of this chair even though I really have to pee, and I keep ruuuuuminating.
You know what all that sounds like on the surface? Depression! Trust me, I know. I’ve been there. It’s yuck.
But because I’ve been there, I also know how enormously different this feeling is. While the same symptoms are all here, there’s something different underlying them. Instead of a sense of hopelessness or dread simmering beneath my actions (or inactions), there’s a sense of excitement and anticipation. Instead of feeling alone, I feel connected. Connected to others, yes, but also connected to something bigger. In the words of Kacey Musgraves, I found a deeper well.
As I was working this week, this comic came into my head. I was thinking about the similarities between depression and creativity and I thought, Oh! It’s just like that old advertising slogan: “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline.”
🎶 Maybe it’s crea-ti-vi-ty, maybe it’s depress-i-on! 🎶
Outwardly, it is probably hard to tell the difference. People with high-functioning depression can still get their work done and get by in life. The key to telling creativity and depression apart is that underlying feeling. What thoughts are fueling these choices?
I don’t have to be making this book. But I want to be making this book. I enjoy making this book, and I’m proud of this book. I feel excited to work on it each day. And when I emerge from my creative nest of sweatshirts and slippers and coffee and dry shampoo to run off to school pick up, I feel happy and fulfilled with what got done that day. I feel clear and light and ready to be fully present with Butterbean.
Notice those words: enjoy, proud, excited, happy, fulfilled, clear, light. Do those sound like Depression words? Words that weigh me down? They sound more like Creativity words to me. Words that lift me up. Words that lead to thoughts that lead to feelings that lead to actions.
I know this is a little burst of creativity, a little push from the creative source. So I’ll take it, and I’ll make art.
The dishes can wait.
MCDT Week 227: Maps 🗺️
This week in MightCouldDrawToday, we’re drawing Maps! We’ve already gotten some awesome Tolkien-inspired maps and knowledge from our resident GIS-expert, Craig! I also wanted to highlight the amazing artwork above by one of our MCDT hosts, Nick Harbaugh from last week’s Dryad theme. The luscious linework, the depth, the dribbling details, the stringy hair, the mushrooms through the eyeballs… it’s all so good! 😍
Thanks for reading y’all!
<3,
Christine
P.S. I really enjoyed creating this comic and am glad I took a little time out of working on my book to make it. I used to make comics like this a lot and dropped out of it as I began focusing on my writing practice. I hope to get back to more comics. :)
You are going to do fine! We joke about Sisyphus pushing that darned rock up the hill very often - and sometimes it rolls back down - but sometimes it rolls OVER the hump and Viola!! Inspiration and a breakthrough happens! May the powers be with you and a breakthrough happen for you when the time is right. Sometimes, waiting is the hardest part. Butterbean and Oni are darned lucky little beings. Keep pusing past this dip - I am in one myself, but feel the rock going OVER the hill! Cheers!
Wonderful!👍